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My Heart is Breaking...

Yesterday seemed like a fairly decent day. Played some games, chatted with the love of my life, all-in-all a pretty good day. Then at some point, the mood shifted. Jem was quiet and withdrawn. She was listening to some sad music most of the time. She left for a bit at one point, and her brother revealed a secret of hers to me that I won't tell. But this secret was pretty deep for Jem, and she got extremely pissed knowing her brother told me it. Personally, I just wanted to move past it and get on with the evening. The secret was none of my business, and it didn't really affect me much.
But for Jem... it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She was livid and heart-broken. I wanted to calm her down and talk with her, but she just wanted to leave. She said she was going to head to bed, so I figured I'd let her sleep... she instead told her brothers I was heading to bed and that she was going out for a walk... She ended our conversation with "goodbye". THAT is what hit me hardest... In all our time together, she never said goodbye to me, and I NEVER wanted to hear it...
I tried texting and calling her today, but I've received no response, and have been sent straight to voicemail... my heart is acheing so badly... I don't want this to be the end... She completes me, she's my other half... she makes my worst days better, she is there for me when I need her most. I love her more than I've ever loved someone in my entire life. More than I ever thought possible. Losing her would mean losing everything... I just... I... I want my Jem back....

EDIT: I just learned that Jem is in the hospital... I haven't been told any details on what happened... I need to be there with her... in that hospital, holding her hand... Instead I'm over 1000 miles away in another state... If I knew what hospital, I'd be out the door right now, but I don't... I want her to be okay... I want her to be safe... Please let Jem be well...

A Long Needed Update

So yeah, it has been a hecka long time since I posted anything here. So I will do one of my staple "This is what happened" posts

Video Games:
Well, been playing a crapload of Minecraft. Been running 2 servers now. One is well built, the other is under way. Also been getting back into PSO. Been playing a crapload of Left 4 Dead 1/2 and Dead Island. Also some Halo.

Work:
Stress. Pain. Moving on.

Girlfriend:
All tolled, things are on the up and up. We have had some low and emotional points, but we've been getting a lot closer and planning out bigger plans. In fact, we've been planning on moving out to Colorado in 2014. We've been looking at homes, pets, cars, and jobs. Gonna be her, Katya, Katya's boyfriend, and myself :) I'm so anxious! I can hardly wait!

Friends:
Helped Monkey move recently. He's got a new place now. Lucky bastard XD As for my other friends, Ryan popped by today unexpectedly. I hadn't seen him in months. Was great to catch up.

And that is a brief summary of what's been going on. Not too much depth, but I'm like that, I guess, unless I'm focusing on a single topic XD

My tweets

  • Tue, 19:02: The Valentine's gifts my sweetie @Tasha8999 sent me got here today! :D I'm so happy!!

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My tweets

Catching up.

So yeah, my stress level has been up there lately. Work has been a killer, and the free time I have had has felt shorter than usual.

But that doesn't mean that it's all bad. Many things are on the up-and-up. My relationship with Jem has escalated greatly. Earlier this month, I proposed to her, and she said yes! :D This year has started off great just with that. We chat almost every night over voice chat. It is wonderful!

In terms of gaming, I have been playing PSO, Pokemon, and Fallout a lot more. Been pretty fun.

And I have been trying to hang out with friends like Mike and Monkey a lot more. Been good catching up and hanging out with them.

Apart from that, home life has been eh... we are in the red and have to pay $1500 to the mortgage. $1500 that we don't have and can't get. If we can't pay that, we need to pay $3000 at the end of February, and might get foreclosed on. I just hope we can get it paid off.

Overall, been a mixed new year. Here's hoping it levels out and gets all better and better :)

Мои твиты

  • Вс, 21:20: My PSO site is finally moving in the right direction! :D Took it almost a year!

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Мои твиты

  • Сб, 21:54: Finally have internet! Can finally do more with my sweetie!

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Мои твиты

  • Ср, 20:32: Sigh... This sucks... I miss being able to do more with my girlfriend... I want internet again....

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Мои твиты

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Мои твиты

  • Сб, 01:03: Only work 2 hours tomorrow. Given I don't work weekends, this is a good thing.

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